Day 30 - The Silent Tongue

Day 30 - The Silent Tongue...you thought we would miss this one didn't you?

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to speak and a time to be silent." Ecc 3:1, 7

Did you hear about the husband and wife who were feuding? They both went to their bedroom giving each other "the silent treatment". Before he fell asleep the husband remembered he had to get up at 5:00 am for a business trip. He didn't want to humble himself and be the first to speak, so he left a note on her pillow: 'please wake me at 4:00 so I can catch my flight tomorrow'. When he woke up in the morning, he looked at the clock and it read 5:30 am. He had missed his flight! He got out of bed to angrily confront his wife when he noticed a note on the bed: 'Wake up! It is 4:00 am."

Not all silence is golden. Most of this study focused on what comes out of our mouths--in fact, you probably think you will never utter more than three words again to keep your tongue in-line with God's Word. You may be considering a vow of silence. Well, read on.

Talking is absolutely vital to maintaining good relationships. How many of you heard this as a little child, 'Silence is golden'? Well, that is only half of the oft-quoted proverb. The whole proverb is this "Speech is silver and silence is golden." Practicing to keep silent in certain situations is certainly a virtue; but as this proverb suggests silver is essential to our interaction. It is the oxygen to your relationships, silver was very valuable in Biblical times being used to trade for goods and services.

Silence is not golden when we use it to passively express anger or disappointment. We can use it as a retaliatory tool to manipulate people. God's Word says to confront those who offend us, "Moreover if thou brother should trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between him and thee alone: if he shall hear these, thou hast gained a brother." Matt 18:15

GUILTY! Oh boy, this one is going to need fasting and prayer--I learned from a very young age to 'keep my mouth shut'. I watched my mother suffer silently when assaults were tossed her way. I was on the receiving end of the 'silent treatment' by my father many, many times. When I had a very serious car accident in 1980 that caused devastating injuries and destroyed my car my father took one look at the wreckage (after driving five hours to pick me up in a local hospital) and didn't utter ONE WORD to me in a year! He would pass right by me, look at me and skulk away.

My mother lived by the silence is golden rule; she repressed her anger, her frustration, her indignation until the day she passed away. I remember when my brother died so tragically and young at the age of 27. My mother was silently doing his laundry and folding the clothes--she had barely spoken a word since I got home from Virginia a few days earlier. I asked her, "Mom, aren't you mad? Aren't you going to cry?" She looked back at me and said quietly, "No, because if I start I will never stop." I never saw her weep outwardly from that day forward, but she slowly disappeared from us over the next 15 years. Heartbreaking! I miss her voice "It's time to get up in the morning, Penelope!"

Now me? I am Chatty Cathy! I am Loquacious Lisa...I've rarely been at a loss for words. Even as a little girl, I frequently heard, "Lisa, please shut-up!" I spoke out in my anger, I talked back to my relatives when they were mean, I expressed myself in writing and shared it with my family. I also received a lot of slaps and punishment for this incessant sharing. Both my brother and sister had perfected the "silent thing". So they would egg-me-on to speak out and since I was the baby, at times I got away with it. A lot of my relatives didn't have great command of English so that always worked in my chatty favor!! Brother and Sis took great pleasure in my antics and I admit I did it mostly for attention and the love of my brother and sister.

People who know me though, they see right through that veneer. When I am quiet, it isn't pleasant. I can remember my oldest son at twelve, getting in trouble and me giving him "the silent treatment". I can still hear him, "Mom, mom why won't you even talk to me? Mom, aren't you going to talk?" Lord Jesus forgive me. On the receiving end of it? It terrifies me, without wisdom and truth there is a vacuum. And we all know what happens when there is a void--we fill it with anything, lies, rumors, untruths, fantasies, anything to plug the hole!

Silence is also not golden when we don't defend the defenseless or downtrodden. Back to my Norma Rae tribute--I don't suffer in this area. I can defend someone else all day; but myself? The thought makes me shudder. But, I am working on it.

Silence isn't golden when it implies we agree with something that is wrong or against our beliefs. How many of us haven't spoken up for fear of embarrassment or ridicule? Do we hold our tongue given the opportunity to glorify the Lord? He says that if you are ashamed of Him in front of men; He will be ashamed of you in front of God, The Father.

Yikes, let's all open our mouths now - Lord, I love you and honor you and I will not keep silent about your goodness and mercy; I will give my testimony in season and out of season, Amen.

This is our last day for Taming the Tongue. There are a few checklists and scripture references I will post as documents in another blogmail in case you want to print them. If you didn't follow all 30 days, you can read everything on the blog under the archives. Tomorrow we start a new study on "Changing Your Life!"--guaranteed. Thanks for sticking with it and listening to me share! Love and peace to you all, Sister Lisa

AFFIRMATION: I will shout to the Lord, I will share my testimony, I will lift up and encourage others with my mouth. I will tell someone that I love them today. :)