Taming the Tongue Checklist and Wrap-UP

Here is the checklist and scripture reference for further study...God Bless, Sister Lisa

Sanctification Requires Work!

So for the past 30 days we have listened to the Holy Spirit as He taught us how to examine our unruly tongue. So now what do we do? The Lord says:

Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness. 2 Tim 2:15-16

Part of studying is meditating on the Word and listening for the Holy Spirit to convict us and teach us where we didn’t meet the mark. The following checklist is meant as a guide to use each night during your evening meditation-leave it on your nightstand and spend five minutes with God reflecting on your words of the day. If you have time, you can write in your journal three phrases or words that you shared today that lined-up with God’s Word.

For example, today I encouraged my friend, Cheryl. She was feeling down and I told her that God loves her and that I love her. Rather than “telling’ my son to clean-up his room, I said, “I would appreciate it if you would pick up your clothes. It would be a big help to me.” When my husband held the door, I remembered to say “Thank you”.

Just that easy! Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it everyday or if you can’t think of three things each day. With practice it becomes easier and you become very mindful of your words throughout the day.

Daily Tongue Evaluation Checklist

Did I engage in any form of lying?
Did I flatter someone?
Did I manipulate someone for my gain or advantage?
Did I speak too hastily?
¨ Did my words cause division?
¨ Was I argumentative or contentious?
¨ Did I boast or speak with pride?
¨ Did I engage in a self put-down?
¨ Did I slander someone?
¨ Did I gossip?
¨ Did I meddle in anybody’s affairs?
¨ Did I betray someone’s trust?
¨ Did I belittle someone?
¨ Was I cynical, scornful or sarcastic?
¨ Did I speak as a Know-It-All?
¨ Did I use harsh or abusive words?
¨ \Did I fail to speak with tact or discipline.
¨ Did I attempt to intimidate with my words?
¨ Was I rude?
¨ Was I critical or judgmental?
¨ Was I self-absorbed in my conversations?
¨ Did I use profanity?
¨ Did I complain?
¨ Did I retaliate?
¨ Did I accuse someone?
¨ Was I discouraging?
¨ Did I express doubt and unbelief?
¨ Did I simply talk too much?
¨ Was I indiscreet in my discussions?
¨ Did I keep silent when I should have communicated?

When you can consistently mark “no” to each of these questions, you are on your way to keeping control of that unruly member, the tongue.

What Can I Do With My Words?

þ Pray
þ Share your faith
þ Express gratitude
þ Tell the truth
þ Admit a mistake
þ Apologize
þ Confess your faults or weaknesses
þ Applaud someone’s achie3vement
þ Ask for help
þ Offer to assist
þ Comfort someone who is hurting
þ Communicate your expectations
þ Give a sincere compliment
þ Confront an interpersonal conflict
þ Pledge your support
þ Defend someone against negative criticism
þ Discourage gossip
þ Express appreciation
þ Offer constructive feedback
þ Share your knowledge
þ Keep a secret
þ Protest evil
þ Put forth a new idea
þ Recite Scripture
þ Reconcile parties in conflict
þ Relate a meaningful story
þ Tell a clean joke
þ Express hope or optimism
þ Encourage someone to persevere
þ Express concern for another
þ Say “Please”
þ Sing a song
þ Speak of God’s goodness

When we started the study, I suggested that memorizing scripture was another way to “shore-up” your heart and tongue with words of life. Here are some scripture references regarding your tongue and speech.

I’ll give you the references, you look them up!

Psalm 34:1
Colossians 4:6
Psalm 49:3
Philippians 2:14
Proverbs 8:6-7
Psalm 139:4
Psalm 71:8
Proverbs 10:11
Isaiah 50:4
Psalm 39:1
Proverbs 25:11
Job 22:28
Psalm 35:28

Day 30 - The Silent Tongue

Day 30 - The Silent Tongue...you thought we would miss this one didn't you?

"There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to speak and a time to be silent." Ecc 3:1, 7

Did you hear about the husband and wife who were feuding? They both went to their bedroom giving each other "the silent treatment". Before he fell asleep the husband remembered he had to get up at 5:00 am for a business trip. He didn't want to humble himself and be the first to speak, so he left a note on her pillow: 'please wake me at 4:00 so I can catch my flight tomorrow'. When he woke up in the morning, he looked at the clock and it read 5:30 am. He had missed his flight! He got out of bed to angrily confront his wife when he noticed a note on the bed: 'Wake up! It is 4:00 am."

Not all silence is golden. Most of this study focused on what comes out of our mouths--in fact, you probably think you will never utter more than three words again to keep your tongue in-line with God's Word. You may be considering a vow of silence. Well, read on.

Talking is absolutely vital to maintaining good relationships. How many of you heard this as a little child, 'Silence is golden'? Well, that is only half of the oft-quoted proverb. The whole proverb is this "Speech is silver and silence is golden." Practicing to keep silent in certain situations is certainly a virtue; but as this proverb suggests silver is essential to our interaction. It is the oxygen to your relationships, silver was very valuable in Biblical times being used to trade for goods and services.

Silence is not golden when we use it to passively express anger or disappointment. We can use it as a retaliatory tool to manipulate people. God's Word says to confront those who offend us, "Moreover if thou brother should trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between him and thee alone: if he shall hear these, thou hast gained a brother." Matt 18:15

GUILTY! Oh boy, this one is going to need fasting and prayer--I learned from a very young age to 'keep my mouth shut'. I watched my mother suffer silently when assaults were tossed her way. I was on the receiving end of the 'silent treatment' by my father many, many times. When I had a very serious car accident in 1980 that caused devastating injuries and destroyed my car my father took one look at the wreckage (after driving five hours to pick me up in a local hospital) and didn't utter ONE WORD to me in a year! He would pass right by me, look at me and skulk away.

My mother lived by the silence is golden rule; she repressed her anger, her frustration, her indignation until the day she passed away. I remember when my brother died so tragically and young at the age of 27. My mother was silently doing his laundry and folding the clothes--she had barely spoken a word since I got home from Virginia a few days earlier. I asked her, "Mom, aren't you mad? Aren't you going to cry?" She looked back at me and said quietly, "No, because if I start I will never stop." I never saw her weep outwardly from that day forward, but she slowly disappeared from us over the next 15 years. Heartbreaking! I miss her voice "It's time to get up in the morning, Penelope!"

Now me? I am Chatty Cathy! I am Loquacious Lisa...I've rarely been at a loss for words. Even as a little girl, I frequently heard, "Lisa, please shut-up!" I spoke out in my anger, I talked back to my relatives when they were mean, I expressed myself in writing and shared it with my family. I also received a lot of slaps and punishment for this incessant sharing. Both my brother and sister had perfected the "silent thing". So they would egg-me-on to speak out and since I was the baby, at times I got away with it. A lot of my relatives didn't have great command of English so that always worked in my chatty favor!! Brother and Sis took great pleasure in my antics and I admit I did it mostly for attention and the love of my brother and sister.

People who know me though, they see right through that veneer. When I am quiet, it isn't pleasant. I can remember my oldest son at twelve, getting in trouble and me giving him "the silent treatment". I can still hear him, "Mom, mom why won't you even talk to me? Mom, aren't you going to talk?" Lord Jesus forgive me. On the receiving end of it? It terrifies me, without wisdom and truth there is a vacuum. And we all know what happens when there is a void--we fill it with anything, lies, rumors, untruths, fantasies, anything to plug the hole!

Silence is also not golden when we don't defend the defenseless or downtrodden. Back to my Norma Rae tribute--I don't suffer in this area. I can defend someone else all day; but myself? The thought makes me shudder. But, I am working on it.

Silence isn't golden when it implies we agree with something that is wrong or against our beliefs. How many of us haven't spoken up for fear of embarrassment or ridicule? Do we hold our tongue given the opportunity to glorify the Lord? He says that if you are ashamed of Him in front of men; He will be ashamed of you in front of God, The Father.

Yikes, let's all open our mouths now - Lord, I love you and honor you and I will not keep silent about your goodness and mercy; I will give my testimony in season and out of season, Amen.

This is our last day for Taming the Tongue. There are a few checklists and scripture references I will post as documents in another blogmail in case you want to print them. If you didn't follow all 30 days, you can read everything on the blog under the archives. Tomorrow we start a new study on "Changing Your Life!"--guaranteed. Thanks for sticking with it and listening to me share! Love and peace to you all, Sister Lisa

AFFIRMATION: I will shout to the Lord, I will share my testimony, I will lift up and encourage others with my mouth. I will tell someone that I love them today. :)

Day 29 - The Indiscreet Tongue

Day 29 - The Indiscreet Tongue

"Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you." Pro 2:11

Noah was a mighty and obedient man. In fact, he was the only man God found righteous enough to not destroy the entire earth! Noah obeyed God, built the Ark, saved his family and started the different peoples of the world.

Once the flood was over Noah planted a vineyard. He got carried away one day and got drunk on the wine. He returned to his tent and shed his clothes. Noah's son Ham, came by the tent and saw Noah drunk and naked. Ham went and told his brothers about his father's nakedness. Ham's brothers exercised more discretion than Ham, as they would not even look at their father. The brothers backed into the tent with Noah's robe and gave it to him for cover. Both showed great maturity and restraint. A discreet person always shows restraint in tongue and behavior; that person reaps positive rewards for his discrete actions.

Some subjects are simply off limits. Especially in the workplace. Your salary and bonus should never be discussed openly. You should never discuss your intimate life with people at work. Betty Jean, "you don't poop where you eat!" I always remember it and pray I catch myself if I reveal too much personal information. Being indiscreet can be costly. People have lost jobs, relationships, friends and family for indiscreet actions. I know it seems that on TV we see celebrities, financial wizards, even high government officials "getting away" with being indiscreet.

Do not be fooled by the ways of this world. Galatians 6:7 says, "Don't be fooled, God is not mocked for what a man sows, that will he reap." Ham paid a dear price for his indiscretion. Once Noah sobered up and found out what happened, he was ashamed. He was furious with Ham and banished him and his descendants to slavery. Genesis 9

Have you discovered something about a leader or someone in a prominent position that uncovered his/her nakedness or sin? Did you run to tell someone? Did you consider that God did not intend for you to reveal that nakedness, but to act with prudence and "cover" the sin with prayer and intercession? Remember that 'love covers a multitude of sins.' Thank God!

Sometimes God asks us to confront the person whose nakedness is revealed. This is so uncomfortable for me--I dread confrontation! But if God directs it, He expects you to do it in love. Nathan the prophet had to confront King David about his adultery and murder. 2Sam 12.

Whatever God commands us, He certainly equips us to carry out. Use discretion, love and prudence--most confrontations do not have to made in public. Remember, God may reveal your nakedness and sin to another--you will want that person to act with gentleness, love and discretion when confronting you!

AFFIRMATION: Lord, discretion will protect me and understanding will guard me. God bless you and praise His Mighty Name on the Sabbath Day!

Superbowl--we have the One and Only Superstar! Jesus name above all names..give Him glory and honor and fellowship together. Peace and joy, Sister Lisa

Day 28 - The Loquacious Tongue

Day 28 – The Loquacious Tongue

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Pro 10:19

Loquacious – Richard’s definition (my dad): diarrhea of the mouth! Oh boy, this is another big one for me. As I read Pegues’ commentary on this tongue-sin, it is pointing right at me: the loquacious one is known to go on and on, jump from topic to topic, motor mouth.

If you have this malady, do you know why you do it? Are you lonely? Do you have little opportunity to talk to others? Do you love the sound of your own voice? Do you think you have knowledge that must be shared with others? YES, YES, YES and YES. Well, incessant talking is not glorifying to God.

The Apostle Paul admonished the Thessalonians to “study to be quiet”. 1 Thes 4:11. In this sense “to study” means to strive for and put in intense effort. It will take work. Here are some tips when you find the mouth running on the open road:

1. Just stop talking and ask the other person or people an open-ended questions
2. Count to fifty (silently!!!) before responding to a question
3. In a group, sit quietly and enjoy the silence. Notice how uncomfortable most people are and silently pray that their minds and mouths will stop and enjoy the peace
4. Restate a person’s question and ask if you heard correctly—wait for a response!
5. If you are giving information, facts, or teaching—stop talking and ask your audience, friend, partner, etc. what they think the answer, facts, course of action is.
6. Be open to different responses before barreling through with the “right” answer

I admit, I don’t always practice what I preach—and I can preach on and on and on…As we’ve been going through this tongue fast and observing ourselves I can share with you that God is working on me.

Just the other day I had a conversation with a friend. She was frustrated with me over my lack of being open with her about some of my struggles. Now, I had asked her to help me with some things so she wasn’t being a “busy body” just trying to do what I asked for. She shared that I talk too much and don’t listen; that I hear but don’t act; that I sometimes lacked humility. She was right on point! That is what I need to get better at to be a great witness for Christ.

When I hung up the phone I wasn’t too upset. I had a few immature thoughts but I did take her observations to heart. Wednesday night I had a speaking commitment with a group. I was going to share my testimony with a large group of people. I’m normally not overly nervous when I speak in front of people. I felt good when I got up to speak. I started with my outline and then BAM—my tongue, my mouth and my lips just dried-up.

I wasn’t shaking, I wasn’t sweating, I wasn’t having anxiety—I simply could not speak. After a few minutes of trying, a lady from the audience brought me a cup of water. I took a sip and proceeded to speak.

What came out of my mouth was not anything I intended to share with the group. I went down the path of humility, trust, kindness and spoke for about 15 of the 40 minutes allotted. When I finished, I was done. I don’t remember every word but I remember the feeling it was strange. I feel okay (for the most part, I am trying not to beat myself up). I figure that God gave me the words, I spoke them and then I shut-up. God must have been preparing me for this lesson.

AFFIRMATION: When my words are many, sin is not absent, but when I hold my tongue I am considered wise. Amen, Sister Lisa

Day 27 - The Doubting Tongue

Day 27 - The Doubting Tongue

"Verily I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says." Mark 11:23

Doubt is a close cousin to fear...when you doubt your Heavenly Father will protect you, provide for you, clothe you, comfort you, carry you, cleanse you it is all because you fear that somehow, someway, He has forgotten you or doesn't care for you or you don't deserve it! He says that no one is righteous, not one--yet He gave His Son a Ransom, Holy and Blameless, for us--to save us to Himself.

To cast doubt out you need to learn, absorb and believe the promises God has for you. Psalm 91 is wonderful...He is my refuge, my place of safety, He is my God and I am trusting Him...
The words that spring from our mouths are merely a reflection of what is in our hearts. Do you have a believing heart? Is there any unbelief lurking in there that you reserve just for yourself? His word says to ask Him to help our unbelief.

Practice, practice, practice. Commit to memorizing and saying aloud one Psalm-Psalm 1 is wonderful and short. Do that for one week until you know it, say it, and believe it. Then pick another promise God has made and do the same thing. If you commit to five minutes each day for one week to work on a verse, a series of verses, a Psalm or Proverb you will be filling your heart with BELIEF!

When we doubt, that means we have put our trust in ourselves or in man. I used to have a paralyzing fear of flying. I would rarely fly and when I did I needed five to six months to start getting my mind ready for the trip. When I got on the plane, I was a wreck. I had my Bible but I never opened it--I just sat and cried. I held on for dear life and refused to eat or go to the bathroom. Now mind you--most of the time I would only fly to see my parents and that is a six hour trip one way! Oh the torture I put myself, my family and the fellow passengers through--such drama and energy.

The doubt about taking off, the doubt about landing, the doubt that the pilot got enough sleep, had sobered up, that the screws had been turned correctly, that the luggage handler forgot to lock a door, that a freak storm would come. You name it---anything you could prove wouldn't happen I had another one to take its place. Forgive my unbelief Lord!

Something happened to me in 1999. My mother had an aneurysm in May. I flew out to be by her side for two weeks. When I returned home, she passed away a week later. The whole family flew out to be with my dad and sister. I didn't even remember that flight, I actually read my Bible. Four weeks later, I was on a plane to Paris and Geneva for work. A work friend flew with me and I stayed awake the entire time--but I made it. Subsequently, I needed to fly about every 5-6 weeks overseas for a project I was working on in 2000-2002. My dear friend Pat's husband is a pilot for British Airways.

She invited me to her house near London and we had a fantastic dinner and Keith explained everything to me about flying, the physics, the weather, the sounds, the noises, the training. Okay, but what about crazy terrorists? God is so great, an awesome wonder....

Keith explained to me that he had been taken hostage in 1991 during the first Gulf War along with his flight crew and passengers in Kuwait. He was held in the basement of a palace for five months! He showed me pictures, he talked of the Christmas dinner they managed to scrape up from crumbs (farina, beans and a tomato to split with 50!) But they dressed in their finest black tie (they had luggage) although most had lost so much weight the clothes hung. They whispered Christmas caroles and had joy!

His Word, His Joy is salve to our doubting souls! To this day, I do not quiver, quake or fear air travel. I leave it in God's hand, I ask for His mighty protection His holy angels to guide us and keep us. I believe!

Doubt? Our God can and does do exceeding abundantly above all we can ask or think, but it is according to the power that works in us. Is His power in your heart, mind and soul? If so, get out of the way and let God be God!

AFFIRMATION: Anything is possible if I believe. Therefore, I say that I believe every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God and I will not discuss or give space to my doubts. Amen, Sister Lisa

Day 26 - The Discouraging Tongue

Day 26 - The Discouraging Tongue

"When they were discouraged, I smiled at them. My look of approval was precious to them." Job 29:24

Have you ever dampened some one's hope, enthusiasm or dreams by raising objections? So many of us have missed our destiny or left our dreams unfulfilled because of discouraging words. We've felt it and seen it and, perhaps, done it ourselves. Most people who discourage don't intend to cut some one's destiny short or dash the idea of an inventor.

People who use discouraging words tend to lack a deep faith in God. We know that God can do exceeding abundantly above all you could ask or thinking--He is God! Remember when the Israelites were right at the cusp of the Promised Land? Moses sent Caleb and Joshua with 10 other men to check out what lie ahead. Caleb and Joshua came back and reported that all things were huge and extreme in the land of milk and honey. They told of grape clusters that had to be carried by two men! They also saw giant-sized men.

When the scouts returned, Caleb and Joshua encouraged Moses and the people to forge ahead and go into the new land. But the ten other scouts raised doubts, the spread discouraging tales about the giants. "We can't go up against those giant men. They are stronger than we are! The land will swallow up anyone who goes to live there. The men are giants and we are like grasshoppers." Numbers 13:31-33

All of this discouragement after God had led them out of captivity in Egypt, parted the Red Sea, fed them Manna from heaven, sustained their lives through viperous hills. The scouts even talked of returning to Egypt saying it was far better to be a slave and know where our meals come from and our shelter. They wanted to stone Caleb and Joshua for their optimism!

God took swift and sure punishment on the unbelievers. He killed the ten discouragers with a plague. He then remanded all of the Israelites to wander in the desert for 40 more years! Further, He forbade anyone who was older than 20 years at the time from entering the Promised Land 40 years later--including Moses. Caleb and Joshua, who kept faith in God's promises, were allowed to enter.

What do we miss or cause someone to miss through discouragement? When someone is discouraged can they count on you to encourage them, to lift them up, to share God's promises? We must always use wisdom when someone comes with a bright idea or ambition so we don't encourage one into folly or sin; but there is a Godly way to do that and not discourage the person.

I remember being in 8th grade when I fell in love with writing. I read Sylvia Plath's 'The Bell Jar" and it changed my life. I wanted to be a writer from that point on. Mrs. Bishop, my 8th grade English teacher, was such an encourager. She read my writings and commented on them. Encouraging me to practice my craft and telling me I had a special gift. My counselor and parents thought differently. I should learn a trade or go to law school, now not to be a lawyer mind you, but to go to Harvard or Yale or Smith! I left that pencil down for many years.

I didn't do either--go into writing or Harvard. I did go to vo-tech for cosmetology and I flunked out for being late--two months before graduation. I've carried that chip on my should for a long time. When I met my husband and started college at 21, we had to take English. We had to write an extemporaneous short story and I remember mine. It was a description of life without your pinkie finger. My teacher loved it (I still have the paper somewhere deep in some dusty box) and my love was ignited again.

So here I am, 48, blogging and writing for the Lord! Two passions in one. My husband, my family and my children all encourage me. I am no longer afraid to just do it. What was once a chip has now become a flower in my life. My writing is like oxygen to a swimmer, like adrenaline to the runner, like canvas to the painter...it is a sustenance for a gift that God gave me. I enjoy it, I am grateful for it and I need it to complete who I am for God's glory!

Do not let man's words derail your dreams, but let God's words lift you up...a man that falls down six times must get up seven. Believe in His promises for you. Amen, Sister Lisa

AFFIRMATION: If I hear someone spewing discouraging words; I will endeavor to lift the person up with encouragement and words of kindness, gentleness and love.

Day 25 - The Accusing Tongue

Day 25 - The Accusing Tongue



"The accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before God day and night, had been hurled down." Rev 12:10

Most of you are familiar with the story of Job. He lost everything: family, possessions, livelihood, his health. His friends and wife tried to comfort him by accusing him of pride, covetousness and other sins which, they conjectured, was why all of this evil befell him.

The friends had the intent to comfort Job; but they spent their time telling Job what a bad person he must be for God to cause him so much loss. Job knew he was a righteous man, he believed that God would have mercy on him and restore his life. Job suffered without complaints but rather chose to praise God for His Sovereignty, His Provision, and His Salvation.

Have you been falsely accused? Have you falsely accused someone? That is Satan's main job--to accuse the brethren day and night before Almighty God. Don't fall prey to the devil's tactics. Don't allow him to use you to cast doubt and shame on one of God's children.

When you are wronged, something is broken or you believe someone else committed a wrong. STOP! God's word give clear direction on how to handle this situation. It is shown in the story of Adam and Eve.

God uses wisdom and maturity to ask Adam and Eve about trespassing in the Garden of Eden. "Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, "Where are you?" So he said, "I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself." And He said, Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" Gen 3:9-11

Now, God already knew the answer but He gave Adam the opportunity to explain himself. Ask and listen. This is all we need to do when we believe someone has done something wrong or lied. If you are accused, remember that all lies originate with he devil--he is the father of all lies. What should you do if you are accused? Go to God and ask Him to reveal the truth. That's it. It is futile to argue with others. If you can go to the person who started the lie and simply state that the information is not true, that is fine as long as you do it in love and forgiveness.

AFFIRMATION: God, you know all. You are Truth and therefore, today I will not accuse anyone of wrongdoing but will ask and listen to the circumstances. If I am accused Father, I ask you to bring the truth to light, I forgive the person who accused me since I know that the devil is the master of all lies and you have already defeated him. I thank you for your truth, your words and your love. Amen, Sister Lisa

Day 24 - The Retaliating Tongue

Revelations 6 - Opening the Fifth Seal to Avenge the Blood of the Martyrs

Day 24 - The Retaliating Tongue

"Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it." 1 Peter 3:9

How easy it is for us to retaliate with our tongue! But then comes remorse...or we should feel remorse if we are God's children. The Holy Spirit lives in you--He convicts, guides, and works in you to sanctify you for God's good works.

Another confession...this is a big one for me to overcome. I get fleeting pleasure sending "zingers" to people who have hurt me, wronged me, made me feel small. Now before you pat yourself on the back, 'I don't do this, it isn't a stonghold for me,' think about it. If you don't launch a zinger back at the offender--do you share with your spouse, your admin, your co-workers what you would have said? I know, it hurts to look in that mirror!

To be completely free from this sin, oh yes, it is a sin, you must allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and then pray to not only stop slinging to the offender, not sharing what you would have done with others, but also PRAY FOR YOUR OFFENDER! Now, this is a prayer for blessing and not for cursing (Lord, forgive me for the many times I pretended to pray for my accusers but really wanted to feel superior in front of you--how unworthy I am to have received your grace freely).

Like author Pegues, I grew up watching people 'suffer in silence'. My mother had a gift for remaining silent and joyful in the face of some nasty comments and accusations about her family, her children, her choices. I don't recall a time when she took us aside and said anything negative about the offenders. It made me BOIL. I made a pact with myself--I would always speak out for myself and the underdog, how dare people do that to the defenseless.

Through many trials, errors, humiliations, and admonishments, I found this way just doesn't work. My husband once called me "Norma Rae". I was proud of that moniker for a time. I thought, see I am for the little person--they need me to stick-up for them. If not me, then who?

Problem was that given the chance, most people didn't want a savior and given the opportunity to offer the sufferers the ultimate Avenger, God Almighty our Christ, I put myself in the place of Jesus--I will save the day!

"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do your part to live peaceably with everyone, as much as possible. Beloved, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord". Romans 12:17-19

Just for today, like Jesus did on His way to the Cross, don't defend yourselves from false accusations or rumors or innuendo. Don't defend capable adults from wrong. Don't vent negatively to your spouse, partner, friends, or co-wo0rkers. You'll grow. Now it won't be easy especially if you have a heart for the downtrodden as I do--but, if you allow Him, the Holy Spirit will give you a spirit of discernment to know when to properly defend the defenseless and when to let it go and let God.

If you try this, that heart on your sleeve that is shaped like a serpents tongue coming out of a fist--will become smooth and vibrant and loving as a heart should be. Praises be to the Living God, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Him who was, and is and is to come. Sister Lisa

AFFIRMATION: Lord, I trust you to give me the power of love, the power of forgiveness and the desire to act in kindness. You are all knowing, all seeing and there is no need to defend myself today; Christ paid the ultimate price for me and for that I am eternally grateful.

Oh, let me clean-up about my husband's comment about being Norma Rae, see the next post!

Day 23 - The Complaining Tongue

Day 23 - The Complaining Tongue

"I cry aloud with my voice to the Lord; I make supplication with my voice to the Lord; I pour out my complaint to Him; I declare my trouble before Him" Psalm 142:1-2

The daughters of Zelophehad had a problem. When their father died in the wilderness before the Israelites came to the Promised Land. Zelophehad had no sons, brothers, or male heirs to inherit his land; his five daughters had no husbands, brothers or sons either. The law did not allow for women to possess land at the time so Zelophehad's five daughters called a congressional hearing and took their concerns directly to Moses to appeal (Numbers 27).

Moses took the cause to God on behalf of the daughters and God agreed with the women--they were given possession of the land. What do you think would have happened if the daughters had just stayed where they were and complained amongst themselves or the villagers? Most likely they wouldn't have obtained the inheritance.

Complaining is whining or pleading a disappointment to people who cannot directly resolve the matter. How many times have you or a friend complained about a situation but the person to whom you complained had no power to change it? Most likely, you or the person joined in to commiserate. I have been there!

At work, I get a lot of people coming to my office to complain about a supervisor, a leader, a policy, etc. Many of the complaints are legitimate. If the person doesn't know me well I let them "plead their case". I then ask if they have taken the issue directly to (fill in the blank) to resolve the matter. 90% of the time, they haven't gone to the source. I encourage them to go and state the issue professionally and factually. I also let them know that it is no longer up for discussion with me as I cannot do anything to change the situation.

Only about 3 out of ten people actually go to the person who can offer a solution! I realize that many people just like to complain but they won't take responsibility for getting resolution. They have tried to re-approach me on the same subject but they do 'get the hand' and either move along or change the subject.

Do you complain? I do, sometimes I believe I am "venting" just blowing off steam and not really looking for an answer. About 10% of the time this is true and the other 90% of the time it is complaining! I want validation, I want to know I am right! Tell me I would win, please!!! God says that this is futile.

When we don't go to the source and take our troubles to God, we tell Him that we don't believe His promise to care for us and carry our burdens. When we don't give an offender the opportunity to right a wrong we carry resentment--negative energy--and the person walks around clueless! Think of times when someone confronted you responsibly--did you smack them down? No, you sincerely apologized and moved on.

Now, there are times when we have a situation we should trust to a close friend or partner. Someone to check out motives or interpretation; ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. There is a website that is dedicated to eliminating whining and complaining. The man gives purple rubberbands you wear on your wrist, when you catch yourself complaining you either move the band from one wrist to the other or you "snap" the band as a reminder to zip it!

www.acomplaintfreeworld.com

I tried it and it works! I am going to commit to move my "Love & Peace" band I wear everyday when I complain as a reminder--won't you try it for just one day? It could change your or someone elses life. God bless and love, Sister Lisa

AFFIRMATION: God, you work everything out for the good of those who love you; I love you Lord and therefore I won't complain. Amen.

Day 22 - The Cursing Tongue

Day 22 - The Cursing Tongue

"Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not be so." James 3:10

Do you suffer from the need or the habit of cursing? I am by no means perfect in this area but I have worked hard to allow the Holy Spirit to tame my tongue in this regard. My ears prickle when I hear cursing. It may be my love of words that causes me to think "there is a better way to express that" when I hear someone cursing.

James says, "No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in similitude of God." 3:8-9

Using obscene language is unbecoming for a child of God. A good person produces good deeds from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil deeds from an evil heart. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." Luke 6:45

It is a HEART CONDITION! Let us ask the Holy Spirit to reside in our hearts, to cleanse our heart, to take that stony heart out and replace it with a moldable, teachable, soft and loving heart. Purify our hearts Lord, purge all uncleanness from it that we may speak with glory and love and honor you.

We must cast down imaginations, wicked thoughts, and evil as it comes to our mind. When we do this, we make room to invite the mind of Christ to reside in us and speak only those words that were given by our Heavenly Father. Blessing and cursing, life and death are in the power of the tongue and God gives us a choice. Choose to share life and blessing from your heart through your tongue. He says that both our children and ourselves will live eternal life.

Affirmation: God I give you full command of my tongue. Through your direction and grace I will only speak words that bring honor to Your Holy Name. Amen, Sister Lisa

Great to be back--been a challenging week. Home is good--thank you Jesus for traveling mercies!

Day 21 - The Self-Absorbed Tongue

Day 21 - The Self-Absorbed Tongue

"Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Phil 2:4

Haman, in the book of Esther, was a self-absorbed person. He boasted of his wealth, sons, all the honors he had received and how high and mighty he had ascended. In the entire book of Esther, Haman only speaks of himself. Some people are like Haman--all of their conversations are centered around themselves, their drama, their lives, their wins, their losses, their issues, their awards, their failures, etc. etc. etc.!

Okay, GUILTY! I know I struggle with this and I do try to recognize when it is "happening" and shut my mouth of ask a question and listen to the other person. Getting better, but I still have a lot of growing to do in this area. For me, it stems from insecurity. If I talk about myself, I know what I am talking about, I am the "expert" and pretty much know I won't make a mistake.

Isn't that crazy thinking? Yes, Lord I need the mind of Christ. I need to give (my attention) to receive (from others) who that person truly is so that I may weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice! Through my work in recovery, I am learning to identify and not compare. I am also learning to identify and not have to tell others...big step for me!

I've been accused of over sharing---again, not that I am so trusting; just the opposite. I figure if I share then no one will ask me difficult questions or challenge me to reveal hurts and truths I have deep inside of my heart. Hmmmm, how do I change this? Let's look at God's Word because He is Jehovah Jireh, our Great Provider:

"My God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19

Always has an answer, God has supplied all my needs-my need to be heard, to be validated, to be confident--through Christ Jesus! That frees me to listen, encourage and care about others. To lead them to the Word where they can profess and hear for themselves the gift of grace that God has freely given.

God is the Great Healer...He will remove our stony hearts, our wicked thoughts, our selfish ways. He who gave so freely wants us to give our time, our ears, our love to others.

Affirmation: Lord, let me think of others before myself. Open my ears to listen and change my heart toward caring for another. I have everything I need; let me be a giver and not a taker Lord. Amen, Sis Lisa

Day 19 - The Rude Tongue

Day 19 - The Rude Tongue

"There will be a highway called the Holy Road. No one rude or rebellious is permitted. It is for God's holy people." Isa 35:8

God has a great sense of humor...speaking of highway, wouldn't you love to have a highway for nice, considerate drivers? Everyday we commute to work, home, the store and are confronted with road rage--people saying rude things and showing obscene gestures. Why are we so rude? Is it over scheduling, 24/7 information, spoiled children, demands of the job, longer commute times?

Lack of patience is at a world-wide high. How did we get this way? Many believe that our fast-paced world of convenience has created unrealistic expectations that everything is achievable at a snap of the fingers or flick of a switch. Ill-mannered and rude conversation has become the norm--even amongst God's children.

I was in a prayer meeting recently listening to a believer testify to the glory and grace of Jesus. How He had changed her, He had cleansed her heart and her life. She gave a great testimony for the Lord. Immediately following her testimony she discovered that her purse was missing. The loud expletives and angry words that spewed from her mouth were astonishing. Even someone like myself who has walked with the Lord for about 23 years was taken aback.

Wow, POOF! Her testimony just disappeared and I am sure the unbelievers had a lot to say after leaving the meeting. "If that is what Jesus did for her, why bother?" What happened to the Golden Rule? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31

It doesn't stop there...how many of us are guilty of talking loudly on our cell phones in a public setting? Have you heard cell phones ring in meetings or church? I ask God for wisdom when using my e-devices. Don't let me pull-out the Blackberry when someone is sharing with me, remember to put the phone on silent before meetings or church, pay attention when someone is talking and don't distract yourself with a book, the radio, the TV, etc.

Oh, God is still working on me! A while ago I was in a local service shop and my friend called me. I answered the phone and proceeded to hold an hysterical conversation with her. A man sitting near me tapped me on the shoulder, "Do you mind taking that outside? I am trying to read." I could have scowled, ignored him, or given him some rude words. Instead, God softened my heart and I said, "sure, sorry for the noise." I told my girlfriend when I got outside and we both said, "Geesh, how annoyed do we get when someone is talking loudly? I am so embarrassed."

Take the mote out of your own eye before trying to remove the speck from your brother's eye! Matt 7:3

Affirmation: Love is patient, love is kind, love is never rude. I will do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Love covers a multitude of sins.

I expanded the affirmation--I need to recite it several time a day and remind myself that rudeness is not Godly! Love to all, Sister Lisa

Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

"The Philistine said, 'come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!'" 1 Sam 17:44

Goliath used name calling, intimidation and threats to scare David, the young sheepherder, before their epic battle. Goliath didn't expect David's reply, "you come against me with sword, and spear and javelin. But I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel whom you have defiled. This day the Lord will hand you over to me and I will strike you down and cut off your head." 1 Sam 17:45-46

The intimidator counts on his victim wilting in the face of a verbal attack. That is why you must (when appropriate) let the intimidator know you will not be oppressed or filled with fear by his threats. Usually an intimidator will back down when you stand-up to the oppression. You must let people know that your only fear is of the Lord in reverence and thankfulness.

God never meant for one person to dominate or intimidate another. In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve dominion over the earth, the animals, the plants, fish and fowl--but not over each other. God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish, the birds and every other creature on the ground." Gen 1:28

If you are an intimidator, you need to repent and ask God to heal you. You may need to seek professional counseling to uncover the root cause. Many times, intimidators were brought up in chaotic, controlling homes or they lack self-esteem and a sense of worth. Whatever the reason, God can and will heal you! Ask Him, pray, meditate on His Word.

Affirmation: God is in control of the universe. He controls every aspect of my life. Because He has all power, I don't need to control or intimidate another to feel valued.

Amen to that! Sis Lis

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue



"Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone." Col 4:6



I remember being told that I was tactless when I was in my twenties. Although I thought myself a smart person and lover of words, I had to look-up exactly what that meant: revealing lack of perceptiveness or judgment or finesse; "an inept remark".



Okay, tactlessness has nothing to do with cerebral intelligence. It doesn't mean you are dumb. But it does suggest that you have some social growing -up to do! My impulse was to "speak my mind" and be "truthful". The goal of being right, correct, factual outweighed any consideration of some one's feelings or thoughts. In fact, I really believed that stating the facts was completely appropriate and would be received warmly by all.



Since then I have worked diligently to increase my "perception and judgment" before speaking to others. I have improved over the years and even been complimented on my "ability to be diplomatic" with sticky issues. However, I STILL get occasional comments from friends and co-workers about insensitive remarks. Lord deliver me!



Let's look at a Godly pro at tactfulness in action. Daniel and his three friends faced a dilemma. King Nebuchadnezzar selected several men from Babylon to serve in his court after a three-year training program. The program included a nutritional regimen that violated the men's strict dietary plan. Daniel was able to tactfully avoid eating the non-kosher food. "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of eunuchs that he might not defile himself." Dan 1:8



Though Daniel had made a decision to not violate kosher law, notice that he requested a special diet from the chief eunuch. He didn't go in with an attitude, he didn't TELL the eunuch that he wouldn't eat the diet. God had favor on Daniel's request and the chief eunuch granted Daniel's request allowing him to eat a vegetarian diet. It is far better to approach a sticky situation in this manner than with a direct, demanding style.



Our communication style is influenced by what we heard growing-up. Between silence and yelling, I didn't always have a great model. Fortunately, my mother drilled me with, "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." This saying is only half correct! We'll talk about that in a later post.



If you do speak with a tactless tongue, repent and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and cleanse you. Apologize when you offend someone and ask forgiveness. Keep trying, it will happen! Is there ever a time to be 'brutally' honest? God says that grace and truth can exist together, "For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth through Jesus Christ." John 1:17.



Jesus never allowed His graciousness to keep Him from sharing the Truth. Study His words and learn from the Master. Check the intent of your heart before you open your mouth. When you feel a comment on your lips that may be tactless or mean, stop transmission! Let the Holy Spirit guide you into all truth with love and follow His leading. Practice will yield loving results.



Affirmation: My words are seasoned with grace as I speak the truth in love.



Be blessed and full of grace today, Sister Lisa

Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue

Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue OUCH!

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Pro 15:1

Got to love the proverbs! If you read one for each day of the month, you will have read through the whole book 12 times in one year. There is a lot of wisdom there to gain and use.

Have you ever had to tell someone the truth? Did you do it with love or did you tell them harshly? Have you tried to tell someone, softly, that they were wrong, incompetent, or a bad fit for a job? Did they not get it until you just laid it out in plain, non-flowery language?

I've had to do all of these things. Truth telling is good; but HOW we tell it is most important. Proverbs 31:26 says, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Speaking kindly is a core principle of the Proverbs 31 Woman. There is never any justification for being harsh or unkind in our communication.

We must choose words that are warmhearted, understanding and sympathetic. The same mercy and grace that God has shown us is the same grace and mercy with which we must speak. It doesn't mean that we are to just turn away or ignore problems and problem people!

We must always go to God in prayer and ask His guidance and the Holy Spirit to give us the words to heal the situation. God says, "so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11.

There are degrees of harshness. Harsh words never die, they impact a person for a lifetime. As I ask God to heal me, use me, clean me up He is revealing so much to me. A lot of the lies I believe about myself are because of harsh words. I remember being called "spastic" as a young girl. I did tend to fall and break things and I just figured that was my fate. I believed that I COULD NOT excel in mechanical things--fixing simple household items, understanding how a mechanical item worked, putting-up simple curtains, etc., etc.

This has manifested itself in many choices I have made in my life. It has caused me to veer in ways I didn't necessarily want to because I could always hear "spastic" in the depth of my mind. Let me tell you--this was a recent discovery by me. You know what I did? I said, 'I am not a spastic; I have the capacity to learn and put together mechanical things. I am not clumsy, I do not fall and break things more than other people do.' After this declaration, I told Ced and he (who has always believed I can DO ANYTHING!!!) encouraged me. I picked up a towel bar that had to be put together and placed over the shower stall--it was sitting there for over a year!

Guess what? I did it! I believed I could and I did it. Hallelujah! The other outcome of being called a 'spastic'? I have a harsh tongue. I have little patience and tolerance when someone can't do something right the first time. I speak harshly when someone asks me something that I believe is so clear! Lord, deliver me from evil and clean my tongue. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city." Pro 16:32.

Make a decision today not to cut anymore--once your tongue cuts that branch, it cannot be sown back into the tree of the person who was hurt. By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can heal, you can control, you can be delivered from harshness coming out of your mouth. We are victorious and kindness is part of my character--it is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit living within me.

Affirmation: I open my mouth with wisdom. The law of kindness is on my tongue. Amen

Peace and love and kindness, Sister Lisa

Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue

Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue

We are half-way through the study and tongue fast. Have you been searching your heart and holding your tongue? This has caused me to pause and reflect on how I use words, how I use my tongue. James was right when he said:

The Tongue
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 ¶ And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8 but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Gen. 1.26
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

So back to the know-it-all. Well this is another lesson I can take to heart. Do you know everything? Do you give unsolicited advice? Do you think you are always right (okay, most of the time)? Do you start sentences with "you should..."? I am raising my hand right now!

Emotionally healthy people resent being told what to do and getting unsolicited advice. We must practice giving people the benefit of the doubt in figuring it all out for themselves. So next time you want to give advice to your partner or friend, how about trying "have you considered?". No one wants to be mothered except by their mother!

Though we may know a lot of things; let's let our loved ones know something once in a while. It is so difficult for me sometimes I must bite my tongue and pray. It hurts to not spout out the answer or the advice. Sit on your hands, bite your tongue, hold your breath...let someone else have a chance! This is sound advice straight from God's mouth to our TWO ears..."wise people don't make a show of their knowledge." Pro 12:23. We all know the opposite of a wise person and we certainly don't want to be considered a fool.

On top of repulsing people with your wealth of knowledge; constantly having and giving the answer is certainly a form of pride. God hates pride, in fact He mentions it twice in the sins of abomination.

How do you tame your tongue on this matter? Well, my earlier paragraph about holding your breath, biting your tongue is a great start. Let someone else share and don't say anything about knowing that already or confirming. Say "really? that is interesting." This my dear sisters and brothers in Christ is HUMILITY! Isn't easy is it? Well, God never said the kiln would be lukewarm and we all know that gold cannot be refined with tepid heat.

Another warning--think you are the only one who knows it all? Beware, in some circles and situations there is another one lurking just waiting to cut you down to size. I've done this, Lord forgive me and I've had it done. Either way it is hurtful, sinful and just plain rude. Don't put yourself in that position.

Always maintain "the right size" and that is 1. GOD, the Father, 2. JESUS, the Son, 3. THE HOLY SPIRIT, Our Counselor, 4. Consideration of Unbelievers, 5. Our Loved Ones and then 6. Ourselves. Practice praying, praising or thinking about all those other people before glorying in your own self knowledge. Pretty soon, you'll have a great understanding of what Jesus truly did and how He humbled Himself to the Cross. Praise Him!

Ask more questions than answers you give. Listen twice as much as you talk. Show interest in people even when it is boring. Turn-off your competitive voice and really listen--God will whisper to you in those moments and give you the opportunity to be a good friend and healing presence for people.

Affirmation: I am prudent and therefore do not flaunt my knowledge. Amen! Love Sister Lisa

Day 14 - The Cynical Tongue

Day 14 – The Cynical Tongue

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way is sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” Psalm 1:1

Oh boy, getting into some territory that I need to clean-up! Never, ever, in my wildest dreams did I think I could become a bitter cynic. It happened and how did it happen? Let’s look at one of the greatest cynics in the Bible.

When David went to see Goliath, he became indignant. He confidently stated that he would personally take care of the uncircumcised Philistine. Circumcision was Gods covenant and protection for the Israelites. David understood that Goliath had no covenant nor protection from God. David was secure in God’s promises. David’s brother, Eliab, didn’t have that confidence in God.

‘Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger burned against David and he said, “Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your onsolence and the wickedness of your heart; for you have come down in order to see the battle.” But David said, “What have I done now?’” 1 Sam 17:28-29

Eliab, whose name means ‘God is my father’, scorned David’s confidence and motives with his cynicism. Cynicism is like venom; it poisons the atmosphere. Resorting to this will poison your spirit too and anyone you are around will be infected. Find one cynic in church, at work, at home, and soon anyone who is not confident in God and secure of themselves will start chiming in to the negativity.

God forgive me—I went through a protracted period of this cynicism at work. I just felt overlooked, overworked and undervalued. Normally, my sisters-in-Christ would have buoyed me and prayed for me. But I cut them off and found excuses not to pray. I hung around with people who were just as dissatisfied as I was. We moaned, we groaned, we gossiped, we pontificated “if only”, we hashed and rehashed the past, we just gave up.

Those were not happy times for me and it carried over into my personal life. Husband and children heard all about how bad it was at work how no one appreciated my contribution. Finally, God intervened. It certainly wasn’t what I anticipated and it was a hard lesson to learn.

My dearest friend at work, Mary, suddenly got ill and I took her home. I dropped her at her house assured that she would call her husband. I called and called that night—no answer. The next morning, Bruce, her husband, called to tell me Mary had an aneurysm and would certainly die soon; she died that morning. How utterly devastated, sad, guilty, wretched, wicked and scorned I felt.

Mary always had a smile and a kind word for me. She was my cheerleader and comforter when things went wrong. She refused to let anything get her down and she would cheer me up by saying, “Good morning sunshine” to me everyday. I resolved then that I could no longer blame others and anyway, where had this bitter woman come from anyway?

I retired that cynical tongue. I cooled the toxic relationships and God intervened in those that were difficult for me to give up. I realized my blessings, my life and family, which God was sustaining. The very people I was bitter at were the people who comforted me during my grief. They cared for me and all of my thoughts about them were wrong. Someone once called me “poison” and I was so offended to this day I have not spoken highly of that person. I am convinced I need to make that right with him; God doesn’t make mistakes.

I was fortunate to be asked by Mary’s family to give her eulogy. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life—but I was ready before God because I prayed. I asked Him to speak through me, to soften my heart and open my mind; give me the beautiful words to speak your love and mercy Lord. And Philippians 4:8-9 were what He gave me:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”

Affirmation: I am blessed because I do not walk in the counsel of the ungodly nor stand in the way of sinners nor sit in the seat of the scornful.

Thank you brothers and sisters in Christ for allowing me to share a part of my heart today and I pray that God engrafts His words and His law into your heart so that you may stand in righteousness, holiness and place of honor in God’s eyes. Sister Lisa

Day 13 - The Belittling Tongue

Day 13 – The Belittling Tongue

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Eph 4:29

Do you know how people feel when they leave your presence? Do they feel inspired, encouraged, comforted, and uplifted? Do they see hope? Or do they feel a disappointment to you, never meeting your expectations, only hearing admonishment and rarely hearing praise?

When someone else speaks of another person and gives that person praise or commendation—do you agree and celebrate or do you make a disparaging remark to build yourself up? We are to encourage one another and build each other up!

How do you use the tool of your lips? Do you hammer, pound, and tear down? Or do you build, create, and deliberately create beauty with your mouth? Pegues suggests that during a tongue fast, you act like a cheerleader or coach to family, friends, employees, strangers, even enemies. Instead of not saying anything at all—say some thing uplifting or encouraging.

How many of us have encountered someone who others deemed “low performer”, “not worth it”, “set in their ways”, etc? I know I have and with some clarity, encouragement and the tools to perform most of these people soared! They may not have become the CEO or an Olympic athlete but these people find their “gift” (everyone has one) and were able to use that energy to affect the home, the workplace, the community in a positive way.

Affirm those in your sphere, lift them up! Praise them, not what they do—tell them that they, the person, are a perfect gift from God given to fill you with joy.

Affirmation: No unwholesome talk comes out of my mouth, only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.