Day 19 - The Rude Tongue

Day 19 - The Rude Tongue

"There will be a highway called the Holy Road. No one rude or rebellious is permitted. It is for God's holy people." Isa 35:8

God has a great sense of humor...speaking of highway, wouldn't you love to have a highway for nice, considerate drivers? Everyday we commute to work, home, the store and are confronted with road rage--people saying rude things and showing obscene gestures. Why are we so rude? Is it over scheduling, 24/7 information, spoiled children, demands of the job, longer commute times?

Lack of patience is at a world-wide high. How did we get this way? Many believe that our fast-paced world of convenience has created unrealistic expectations that everything is achievable at a snap of the fingers or flick of a switch. Ill-mannered and rude conversation has become the norm--even amongst God's children.

I was in a prayer meeting recently listening to a believer testify to the glory and grace of Jesus. How He had changed her, He had cleansed her heart and her life. She gave a great testimony for the Lord. Immediately following her testimony she discovered that her purse was missing. The loud expletives and angry words that spewed from her mouth were astonishing. Even someone like myself who has walked with the Lord for about 23 years was taken aback.

Wow, POOF! Her testimony just disappeared and I am sure the unbelievers had a lot to say after leaving the meeting. "If that is what Jesus did for her, why bother?" What happened to the Golden Rule? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Luke 6:31

It doesn't stop there...how many of us are guilty of talking loudly on our cell phones in a public setting? Have you heard cell phones ring in meetings or church? I ask God for wisdom when using my e-devices. Don't let me pull-out the Blackberry when someone is sharing with me, remember to put the phone on silent before meetings or church, pay attention when someone is talking and don't distract yourself with a book, the radio, the TV, etc.

Oh, God is still working on me! A while ago I was in a local service shop and my friend called me. I answered the phone and proceeded to hold an hysterical conversation with her. A man sitting near me tapped me on the shoulder, "Do you mind taking that outside? I am trying to read." I could have scowled, ignored him, or given him some rude words. Instead, God softened my heart and I said, "sure, sorry for the noise." I told my girlfriend when I got outside and we both said, "Geesh, how annoyed do we get when someone is talking loudly? I am so embarrassed."

Take the mote out of your own eye before trying to remove the speck from your brother's eye! Matt 7:3

Affirmation: Love is patient, love is kind, love is never rude. I will do unto others as I would have them do unto me. Love covers a multitude of sins.

I expanded the affirmation--I need to recite it several time a day and remind myself that rudeness is not Godly! Love to all, Sister Lisa

Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

Day 18 - The Intimidating Tongue

"The Philistine said, 'come to me, and I will give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!'" 1 Sam 17:44

Goliath used name calling, intimidation and threats to scare David, the young sheepherder, before their epic battle. Goliath didn't expect David's reply, "you come against me with sword, and spear and javelin. But I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel whom you have defiled. This day the Lord will hand you over to me and I will strike you down and cut off your head." 1 Sam 17:45-46

The intimidator counts on his victim wilting in the face of a verbal attack. That is why you must (when appropriate) let the intimidator know you will not be oppressed or filled with fear by his threats. Usually an intimidator will back down when you stand-up to the oppression. You must let people know that your only fear is of the Lord in reverence and thankfulness.

God never meant for one person to dominate or intimidate another. In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve dominion over the earth, the animals, the plants, fish and fowl--but not over each other. God said, "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish, the birds and every other creature on the ground." Gen 1:28

If you are an intimidator, you need to repent and ask God to heal you. You may need to seek professional counseling to uncover the root cause. Many times, intimidators were brought up in chaotic, controlling homes or they lack self-esteem and a sense of worth. Whatever the reason, God can and will heal you! Ask Him, pray, meditate on His Word.

Affirmation: God is in control of the universe. He controls every aspect of my life. Because He has all power, I don't need to control or intimidate another to feel valued.

Amen to that! Sis Lis

Prayer Works!

This post if off the study path...if you need pray please let me know. The blog is open to everyone who wants to read it. Only invitees can post on the site. Since it is a public forum, you may want to leave some details out but I feel that if you post it up here and another Christian "comes across the blog"--their hearts will be led to lift up your request or burden in prayer.

Prayer Request - Please pray for my sons to see and hear God's grace; for their hearts to soften to the Word of God and that people and angels would abound in their paths bringing them love, encouragement and peace. I ask for my heart's desire to be to serve God through faithful study of His Word and fellowshipping with believers in the bonds of peace. Thank you all, Sister Lisa

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue



"Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone." Col 4:6



I remember being told that I was tactless when I was in my twenties. Although I thought myself a smart person and lover of words, I had to look-up exactly what that meant: revealing lack of perceptiveness or judgment or finesse; "an inept remark".



Okay, tactlessness has nothing to do with cerebral intelligence. It doesn't mean you are dumb. But it does suggest that you have some social growing -up to do! My impulse was to "speak my mind" and be "truthful". The goal of being right, correct, factual outweighed any consideration of some one's feelings or thoughts. In fact, I really believed that stating the facts was completely appropriate and would be received warmly by all.



Since then I have worked diligently to increase my "perception and judgment" before speaking to others. I have improved over the years and even been complimented on my "ability to be diplomatic" with sticky issues. However, I STILL get occasional comments from friends and co-workers about insensitive remarks. Lord deliver me!



Let's look at a Godly pro at tactfulness in action. Daniel and his three friends faced a dilemma. King Nebuchadnezzar selected several men from Babylon to serve in his court after a three-year training program. The program included a nutritional regimen that violated the men's strict dietary plan. Daniel was able to tactfully avoid eating the non-kosher food. "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of eunuchs that he might not defile himself." Dan 1:8



Though Daniel had made a decision to not violate kosher law, notice that he requested a special diet from the chief eunuch. He didn't go in with an attitude, he didn't TELL the eunuch that he wouldn't eat the diet. God had favor on Daniel's request and the chief eunuch granted Daniel's request allowing him to eat a vegetarian diet. It is far better to approach a sticky situation in this manner than with a direct, demanding style.



Our communication style is influenced by what we heard growing-up. Between silence and yelling, I didn't always have a great model. Fortunately, my mother drilled me with, "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." This saying is only half correct! We'll talk about that in a later post.



If you do speak with a tactless tongue, repent and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and cleanse you. Apologize when you offend someone and ask forgiveness. Keep trying, it will happen! Is there ever a time to be 'brutally' honest? God says that grace and truth can exist together, "For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth through Jesus Christ." John 1:17.



Jesus never allowed His graciousness to keep Him from sharing the Truth. Study His words and learn from the Master. Check the intent of your heart before you open your mouth. When you feel a comment on your lips that may be tactless or mean, stop transmission! Let the Holy Spirit guide you into all truth with love and follow His leading. Practice will yield loving results.



Affirmation: My words are seasoned with grace as I speak the truth in love.



Be blessed and full of grace today, Sister Lisa

Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue

Day 16 - The Harsh Tongue OUCH!

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Pro 15:1

Got to love the proverbs! If you read one for each day of the month, you will have read through the whole book 12 times in one year. There is a lot of wisdom there to gain and use.

Have you ever had to tell someone the truth? Did you do it with love or did you tell them harshly? Have you tried to tell someone, softly, that they were wrong, incompetent, or a bad fit for a job? Did they not get it until you just laid it out in plain, non-flowery language?

I've had to do all of these things. Truth telling is good; but HOW we tell it is most important. Proverbs 31:26 says, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." Speaking kindly is a core principle of the Proverbs 31 Woman. There is never any justification for being harsh or unkind in our communication.

We must choose words that are warmhearted, understanding and sympathetic. The same mercy and grace that God has shown us is the same grace and mercy with which we must speak. It doesn't mean that we are to just turn away or ignore problems and problem people!

We must always go to God in prayer and ask His guidance and the Holy Spirit to give us the words to heal the situation. God says, "so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11.

There are degrees of harshness. Harsh words never die, they impact a person for a lifetime. As I ask God to heal me, use me, clean me up He is revealing so much to me. A lot of the lies I believe about myself are because of harsh words. I remember being called "spastic" as a young girl. I did tend to fall and break things and I just figured that was my fate. I believed that I COULD NOT excel in mechanical things--fixing simple household items, understanding how a mechanical item worked, putting-up simple curtains, etc., etc.

This has manifested itself in many choices I have made in my life. It has caused me to veer in ways I didn't necessarily want to because I could always hear "spastic" in the depth of my mind. Let me tell you--this was a recent discovery by me. You know what I did? I said, 'I am not a spastic; I have the capacity to learn and put together mechanical things. I am not clumsy, I do not fall and break things more than other people do.' After this declaration, I told Ced and he (who has always believed I can DO ANYTHING!!!) encouraged me. I picked up a towel bar that had to be put together and placed over the shower stall--it was sitting there for over a year!

Guess what? I did it! I believed I could and I did it. Hallelujah! The other outcome of being called a 'spastic'? I have a harsh tongue. I have little patience and tolerance when someone can't do something right the first time. I speak harshly when someone asks me something that I believe is so clear! Lord, deliver me from evil and clean my tongue. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city." Pro 16:32.

Make a decision today not to cut anymore--once your tongue cuts that branch, it cannot be sown back into the tree of the person who was hurt. By the power of the Holy Spirit, you can heal, you can control, you can be delivered from harshness coming out of your mouth. We are victorious and kindness is part of my character--it is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit living within me.

Affirmation: I open my mouth with wisdom. The law of kindness is on my tongue. Amen

Peace and love and kindness, Sister Lisa

Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue

Day 15 - The Know-It-All Tongue

We are half-way through the study and tongue fast. Have you been searching your heart and holding your tongue? This has caused me to pause and reflect on how I use words, how I use my tongue. James was right when he said:

The Tongue
1 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation.
2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.
4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.
5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!
6 ¶ And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.
7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:
8 but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Gen. 1.26
10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?
12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

So back to the know-it-all. Well this is another lesson I can take to heart. Do you know everything? Do you give unsolicited advice? Do you think you are always right (okay, most of the time)? Do you start sentences with "you should..."? I am raising my hand right now!

Emotionally healthy people resent being told what to do and getting unsolicited advice. We must practice giving people the benefit of the doubt in figuring it all out for themselves. So next time you want to give advice to your partner or friend, how about trying "have you considered?". No one wants to be mothered except by their mother!

Though we may know a lot of things; let's let our loved ones know something once in a while. It is so difficult for me sometimes I must bite my tongue and pray. It hurts to not spout out the answer or the advice. Sit on your hands, bite your tongue, hold your breath...let someone else have a chance! This is sound advice straight from God's mouth to our TWO ears..."wise people don't make a show of their knowledge." Pro 12:23. We all know the opposite of a wise person and we certainly don't want to be considered a fool.

On top of repulsing people with your wealth of knowledge; constantly having and giving the answer is certainly a form of pride. God hates pride, in fact He mentions it twice in the sins of abomination.

How do you tame your tongue on this matter? Well, my earlier paragraph about holding your breath, biting your tongue is a great start. Let someone else share and don't say anything about knowing that already or confirming. Say "really? that is interesting." This my dear sisters and brothers in Christ is HUMILITY! Isn't easy is it? Well, God never said the kiln would be lukewarm and we all know that gold cannot be refined with tepid heat.

Another warning--think you are the only one who knows it all? Beware, in some circles and situations there is another one lurking just waiting to cut you down to size. I've done this, Lord forgive me and I've had it done. Either way it is hurtful, sinful and just plain rude. Don't put yourself in that position.

Always maintain "the right size" and that is 1. GOD, the Father, 2. JESUS, the Son, 3. THE HOLY SPIRIT, Our Counselor, 4. Consideration of Unbelievers, 5. Our Loved Ones and then 6. Ourselves. Practice praying, praising or thinking about all those other people before glorying in your own self knowledge. Pretty soon, you'll have a great understanding of what Jesus truly did and how He humbled Himself to the Cross. Praise Him!

Ask more questions than answers you give. Listen twice as much as you talk. Show interest in people even when it is boring. Turn-off your competitive voice and really listen--God will whisper to you in those moments and give you the opportunity to be a good friend and healing presence for people.

Affirmation: I am prudent and therefore do not flaunt my knowledge. Amen! Love Sister Lisa

Day 14 - The Cynical Tongue

Day 14 – The Cynical Tongue

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way is sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” Psalm 1:1

Oh boy, getting into some territory that I need to clean-up! Never, ever, in my wildest dreams did I think I could become a bitter cynic. It happened and how did it happen? Let’s look at one of the greatest cynics in the Bible.

When David went to see Goliath, he became indignant. He confidently stated that he would personally take care of the uncircumcised Philistine. Circumcision was Gods covenant and protection for the Israelites. David understood that Goliath had no covenant nor protection from God. David was secure in God’s promises. David’s brother, Eliab, didn’t have that confidence in God.

‘Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger burned against David and he said, “Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your onsolence and the wickedness of your heart; for you have come down in order to see the battle.” But David said, “What have I done now?’” 1 Sam 17:28-29

Eliab, whose name means ‘God is my father’, scorned David’s confidence and motives with his cynicism. Cynicism is like venom; it poisons the atmosphere. Resorting to this will poison your spirit too and anyone you are around will be infected. Find one cynic in church, at work, at home, and soon anyone who is not confident in God and secure of themselves will start chiming in to the negativity.

God forgive me—I went through a protracted period of this cynicism at work. I just felt overlooked, overworked and undervalued. Normally, my sisters-in-Christ would have buoyed me and prayed for me. But I cut them off and found excuses not to pray. I hung around with people who were just as dissatisfied as I was. We moaned, we groaned, we gossiped, we pontificated “if only”, we hashed and rehashed the past, we just gave up.

Those were not happy times for me and it carried over into my personal life. Husband and children heard all about how bad it was at work how no one appreciated my contribution. Finally, God intervened. It certainly wasn’t what I anticipated and it was a hard lesson to learn.

My dearest friend at work, Mary, suddenly got ill and I took her home. I dropped her at her house assured that she would call her husband. I called and called that night—no answer. The next morning, Bruce, her husband, called to tell me Mary had an aneurysm and would certainly die soon; she died that morning. How utterly devastated, sad, guilty, wretched, wicked and scorned I felt.

Mary always had a smile and a kind word for me. She was my cheerleader and comforter when things went wrong. She refused to let anything get her down and she would cheer me up by saying, “Good morning sunshine” to me everyday. I resolved then that I could no longer blame others and anyway, where had this bitter woman come from anyway?

I retired that cynical tongue. I cooled the toxic relationships and God intervened in those that were difficult for me to give up. I realized my blessings, my life and family, which God was sustaining. The very people I was bitter at were the people who comforted me during my grief. They cared for me and all of my thoughts about them were wrong. Someone once called me “poison” and I was so offended to this day I have not spoken highly of that person. I am convinced I need to make that right with him; God doesn’t make mistakes.

I was fortunate to be asked by Mary’s family to give her eulogy. It was one of the most difficult moments of my life—but I was ready before God because I prayed. I asked Him to speak through me, to soften my heart and open my mind; give me the beautiful words to speak your love and mercy Lord. And Philippians 4:8-9 were what He gave me:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”

Affirmation: I am blessed because I do not walk in the counsel of the ungodly nor stand in the way of sinners nor sit in the seat of the scornful.

Thank you brothers and sisters in Christ for allowing me to share a part of my heart today and I pray that God engrafts His words and His law into your heart so that you may stand in righteousness, holiness and place of honor in God’s eyes. Sister Lisa