Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue

Day 17 - The Tactless Tongue



"Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone." Col 4:6



I remember being told that I was tactless when I was in my twenties. Although I thought myself a smart person and lover of words, I had to look-up exactly what that meant: revealing lack of perceptiveness or judgment or finesse; "an inept remark".



Okay, tactlessness has nothing to do with cerebral intelligence. It doesn't mean you are dumb. But it does suggest that you have some social growing -up to do! My impulse was to "speak my mind" and be "truthful". The goal of being right, correct, factual outweighed any consideration of some one's feelings or thoughts. In fact, I really believed that stating the facts was completely appropriate and would be received warmly by all.



Since then I have worked diligently to increase my "perception and judgment" before speaking to others. I have improved over the years and even been complimented on my "ability to be diplomatic" with sticky issues. However, I STILL get occasional comments from friends and co-workers about insensitive remarks. Lord deliver me!



Let's look at a Godly pro at tactfulness in action. Daniel and his three friends faced a dilemma. King Nebuchadnezzar selected several men from Babylon to serve in his court after a three-year training program. The program included a nutritional regimen that violated the men's strict dietary plan. Daniel was able to tactfully avoid eating the non-kosher food. "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank; therefore he requested of the chief of eunuchs that he might not defile himself." Dan 1:8



Though Daniel had made a decision to not violate kosher law, notice that he requested a special diet from the chief eunuch. He didn't go in with an attitude, he didn't TELL the eunuch that he wouldn't eat the diet. God had favor on Daniel's request and the chief eunuch granted Daniel's request allowing him to eat a vegetarian diet. It is far better to approach a sticky situation in this manner than with a direct, demanding style.



Our communication style is influenced by what we heard growing-up. Between silence and yelling, I didn't always have a great model. Fortunately, my mother drilled me with, "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." This saying is only half correct! We'll talk about that in a later post.



If you do speak with a tactless tongue, repent and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and cleanse you. Apologize when you offend someone and ask forgiveness. Keep trying, it will happen! Is there ever a time to be 'brutally' honest? God says that grace and truth can exist together, "For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth through Jesus Christ." John 1:17.



Jesus never allowed His graciousness to keep Him from sharing the Truth. Study His words and learn from the Master. Check the intent of your heart before you open your mouth. When you feel a comment on your lips that may be tactless or mean, stop transmission! Let the Holy Spirit guide you into all truth with love and follow His leading. Practice will yield loving results.



Affirmation: My words are seasoned with grace as I speak the truth in love.



Be blessed and full of grace today, Sister Lisa